


Magic Carpet Ride

by Marvinetta



Category: The Losers, The Losers (2010)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-24
Updated: 2010-07-24
Packaged: 2017-10-10 18:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvinetta/pseuds/Marvinetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cougar ends up drinking a beer spiked with acid on accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magic Carpet Ride

Clay's phone rang. It never rang when they were taking some time off. Aisha glared at him across the bed, and Clay offered up a small smile as he checked the number. The smile faded as he saw whose number it was.

"What's wrong?" Clay answered roughly.

"Um. It's Cougar," Jensen sounded hushed, and there was a loud, very male giggle in the background. Then the sound of glass breaking. "We have a really weird situation on our hands."

Clay groaned as he heard Pooch start yelling in the background and heard a string of muffled Spanish before Jensen started yelling too and dropped the phone. When Jensen finally got back to him with a really heart felt apology, Clay was already half into his clothes.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Well, you see, what happened is that Pooch took me out for a few drinks and Cougar was being a dick so we left him in the room. And there were these girls at the bar, and they were really into us, well, into me. Pooch put on his wedding ring before we went out and was really adept at dodging the grabby hands, even drunk. He's like, a fucking ninja. A wedding vow upholding ninja -"

"Jensen."

"So finally Cougar shows up and he's really cranky because Jolene called and Pooch had to go so Cougar wanted me to stop drinking and go back to the hotel because he didn't want to babysit me so Pooch and I were ready to leave and the girls started getting kind of upset when Cougar took my beer and drank my beer to kinda emphasize his point that we were leaving. Oh god, breathing." Jensen trailed off for a minute and Clay pinched the bridge of his nose. "So Cougar chugs my beer and the girls were acting weird so I pick-pocketed them when they hugged me good bye and they had acid tabs."

"Jensen. Please tell me those girls didn't spike your drinks." Clay sank down on the bed and felt a headache coming on. Aisha raised an eyebrow, and her face changed from angry to curious.

"Um. Just mine, we think. The one Cougar chugged."

"How long ago was this?"

"Um, about half an hour? He's doing okay right now. Apparently he plays guitar? He just stole one. So Pooch is singing along. But Pooch has to go and I'm not certain I should be babysitting because I'm really drunk. And we're still trying to figure out how to get him back to the hotel room without the cops noticing. They are bound to show up since he just fucking stole a guitar."

"Alright. Do you guys have any Valium around?" Clay checked his watch. "I won't be able to get there for at least 2 hours."

"Valium? Yeah, I think we have some left over." Jensen trailed off again. "Yes! We have some! I'm fairly certain we didn't use it all after me and Pooch got shot. Why do we need it?"

"If Cougs starts acting aggressive, or freaking out, give him one. Or, actually, give it to him as soon as you can. The Valium will help lessen the effects, and hopefully keep him happy." Clay rubbed at his forehead. Of everyone on the team, Cougar would be the most susceptible to a bad trip, and that would be very bad for everyone else.

"Do I even want to know how you know this?" Jensen muttered. "Okay, you're still on your way though, right?"

"Yes, I'm on my way. Try to figure out how big of a dose he got, and if you do, call me back. And whatever you do, keep him calm." Clay hung up the phone and found Aisha smiling at him. "Someone spiked Cougar's beer with an acid tab."

"Oh shit," Aisha's smile fell and she started gathering up clothes.

"No, you stay here. I don't want to risk the sight of you setting him off. No offense, but you don't have a very calming effect on my team." Clay shoved his phone and his keys into his pockets and headed towards the door.

"Be careful." Aisha called out as the door closed. "And good luck."

\----------

Jensen shoved the phone in his pocket and helped Pooch steer Cougar into an alley. Once Cougar was settled against the wall with his newfound guitar, Jensen turned to Pooch who had the same stunned look on his face. Pooch ran his hands over his head and went back to where the busted window was in the music store. Jensen reached out occasionally to keep Cougar from leaning too far to one side or another. After a few minutes, Pooch reappeared.

"I didn't see any fingerprints. He was pretty fucking ninja smashing the window with his elbow and only touching the guitar-"

"I need a case!" Cougar suddenly chimed into the conversation and turned around towards the store.

"Whoa there, ninja. I'll get the case for you. You stay here." Pooch held up his hands as Jensen steered Cougar back into the alley and back against the wall.

"Need a case. It's a guitar condom. Keeps out all the bad stuff." Cougar started laughing and switched to Spanish, gesturing with one hand wildly. Pooch just turned around and went to find a case in the store. When he returned, Cougar was still rambling in Spanish, but let Jensen take the guitar to put in the case with little resistance. Once it was in the case, Jensen handed it back and Pooch steered them away from the store.

"As I was about to say before Santana here made his request," Pooch looked at Cougar who was hugging the guitar case to himself. "There's no visible alarm system or cameras. And I don't hear cops yet, so we're just going to take the really long way back to the bar area and take the long way to the hotel. There's a service entrance that shouldn't be seeing much use. If we can take the guitar from him, I'll go in that way with it, and you two go in the front door. We'll meet at your room."

"That plan okay with you Cougs?" Jensen asked, hopefully.

"Si." Cougar nodded, the only sign he was acting strange was the way he was petting the guitar case. Jensen started to laugh, which earned him a death glare from Pooch. The walked in silence, except for when Cougar would start laughing randomly, which would make Jensen giggle. Pooch said nothing until he asked for the guitar near the hotel.

The plan went surprisingly well. The girls at the front desk just smiled, and assumed they were both really drunk. Cougar smiled politely and rambled a little in the elevator about how the girl's hair looked like lava flowing from a volcano, and spent the next five minutes trying to say the name of the volcano in Iceland. Jensen smiled and nodded when Cougar looked to him after each try. His eyes looked a little crazy, and the weird giggle he kept doing was starting to freak Jensen out. But Clay said 'keep him calm', so Jensen played along.

"Okay, I'm leaving now. And I am not going to tell Jolene about this, because she wouldn't believe me and I think our ninja here will kill me if I repeat this story once he sobers up." Pooch patted Cougar on the shoulder and Cougar pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Your momma's a ninja." Cougar slapped Pooch on the back and wandered off towards the guitar case.

Jensen doubled over in laughter as Pooch left the room in a hurry. When Jensen finally stopped laughing, he remembered what Clay had said about the Valium. Digging in his bags, he found the pill bottle and fished one out. Not certain how receptive Cougar would be to taking the drugs, he turned and watched Cougar strum at the strings on the foot of the bed. His hat was lying inside the case, which made the situation seem even weirder. Cougar almost never took his hat off.

"Hey Cougs," Jensen inched closer and the sniper lifted his eyes up slowly. "If I give you this, will you take it?"

"Why?" Cougar's hands stilled on the strings and his eyes narrowed as he focused on the pill Jensen was holding up.

"I'm worried about you, and this will make me less worried." Jensen shrugged and started to plan a backup method.

"Alright," Cougar lowered the guitar and held out a hand. Jensen stared at the hand in shock for a moment before putting the pill gently in the center of Cougar's palm. He watched as Cougar swallowed it dry, and smiled as Cougar opened his mouth to show he had actually swallowed it. "No need to worry. I'm fine."

"I see that."

Jensen leaned back against the headboard and watched as Cougar toyed with the guitar. He couldn't say 'play' because Cougar wasn't actually making noise with it anymore. Jensen also wanted to ask how after two years he had no clue his teammate played guitar, but was worried it would change the sniper's mood.

"I haven't had a guitar in years." Cougar suddenly said, as if reading Jensen's mind. "I used to play a lot. I don't know why I stopped. Maybe I do. I don't know. I just stopped. Didn't seem right to play anymore."

Jensen licked his lips as Cougar ended his speech by actually launching into a song. He didn't recognize it, and he was pretty certain Cougar was missing a few notes, because it didn't sound quite right. But, he couldn't really hold it against Cougar, seeing as how he'd had his drink spiked with acid.

"Still sounds nice." Jensen finally offered up, earning a genuinely happy smile from the sniper. A smile he hadn't seen since before Bolivia. "Will you keep playing while I take a shower?"

"Si." Cougar launched into another song, singing softly to himself as he did so. Jensen hurried into the bathroom and took the coldest shower he could stand, hoping to wake himself up. Normally 2 hours with Cougar was a walk in the park, Jensen would ramble and play with computers while Cougar sat around and cleaned his guns.

"Shit. Guns." Jensen's eyes flew open as he realized he had no idea if hiding Cougar's guns was a really fucking awesome idea, or if moving them would set the sniper off. Turning the water even colder, Jensen finished his shower in record time and toweled off.

Wandering back into the main area of the hotel room, Jensen rummaged in his bag for clean clothes that were muted, rather than extremely colorful. As he pulled on his pants he heard the music stop and turned to see Cougar halfway to him.

"You really are a ninja tonight, damn," Jensen laughed as Cougar stopped way closer to him than he normally would. "You alright?"

Cougar nodded. Jensen was just about to move back a few steps when Cougar leaned in even closer and sniffed at him before licking his shoulder. Then just as quickly, Cougar turned around and walked back to the foot of the bed. Jensen didn't move until Cougar sat back down and picked up the guitar. Pulling his shirt over his head, Jensen settled against the headboard and watched Cougar play the guitar in relative silence for a while.

"You should raise your standards." Cougar stopped in the middle of a song and met Jensen's eyes. "You set them too low."

"Standards for what?" Jensen asked, shifting a little under Cougar's way too focused stare.

"Everything. You deserve better friends. You and Pooch should have left us back in Los Angeles. Maybe sooner. Gone to a better unit. You could take turns babysitting for each other." Cougar started strumming again, but didn't look away from Jensen. "Definitely better friends. I'm not a good friend most of the time."

"You're a good friend," Jensen said quietly.

"No. I'm not. I should help you more with women. Since you seem so intent on proving you're straight to everyone. I'm not a good friend, otherwise you'd have told me already." Cougar put the guitar in the case and lay down on the floor to look at the ceiling. "I should be a better friend. I'll start tomorrow."

"Tell you what?" Jensen leaned over the bed and Cougar stared at him like he was the most interesting thing ever. He probably was at the moment, considering Cougar looked stoned out of his mind. Cougar didn't say anything for a long time and finally Jensen pulled back onto the bed. Occasionally Cougar's hand came into view, tracing imaginary objects and then disappearing again.

Jensen finally remembered to find out how big of a dose Cougar had taken, and rummaged around for the stuff he'd lifted from the girls at the bar. After a few minutes on his laptop, he still had no idea how much of a dose it was. He debated whether he should call Clay or not, when Cougar started rambling in Spanish, and sounded a little upset.

"Cougs? You alright man?" Jensen shoved his laptop away and dropped to the floor next to the sniper who was covering his face with his hands. "You know I don't speak a ton of Spanish, especially not when you talk that fast."

"It's nothing. I feel weird." Cougar made a visible effort to pull himself together and gave Jensen a pained look. "I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"I'm fine, see? We got you a guitar and made it back to the hotel. We're taking care of each other." Jensen offered a hand and pulled Cougar up onto the bed. Cougar leaned back against the headboard and let his eyes roam around the room. The haunted look started to fade after a while and he crawled to the foot of the bed and dragged the guitar up with him.

"I'm going to teach you how to play guitar tomorrow." Cougar nodded and started playing again. "There's too many extra strings on this one, we'll go back and get a normal guitar tomorrow."

"Works for me." Jensen nodded with a smile and pulled his laptop back to him. After a while, Cougar leaned the guitar against the nightstand and inched closer to Jensen. Resting his head against Jensen's shoulder, Cougar silently watched Jensen type, occasionally raising a finger to trace things on the screen. Shortly after that, Jensen felt more of Cougar's weight on him, and heard the steady breathing that came with sleep.

When Clay showed up, he sent a text message from his car. Jensen called down to the front desk and told the clerk he was expecting his dad, which was probably going to annoy Clay, but a cheap laugh was a cheap laugh. When Clay finally came into the room, he gave Jensen a tired, slightly amused look before taking his coat off and sitting on the other bed.

"Your dad?" Clay sighed.

"Hey, at three am there's only so many believable things you can say to explain a dude showing up to your room," Jensen answered quietly. "I think he finally fell asleep. Sorry to make you drive all the way out here."

"I'd rather be here and not tempt Murphy's Law." Clay leaned forward to get a good look at Cougar. "Was he any trouble?"

"He was weird." Jensen debated how much detail he should go into. "Mostly played the guitar, watched imaginary things float around, and rambled at me. And I think he's drooling on my shoulder."

"Well I'm here now, and you look like you need to sleep, too." Clay stretched out his legs and pulled a book out of his coat pocket. "I'm sure you'll wake up when he does."

"Thanks," Jensen pushed the laptop away and closed his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Clay cut him off.

"Don't call me 'Dad', Jensen."

\----------

 

Clay was right. Jensen had woken up when Cougar rolled away from him and pulled all the linens off the bed, nearly taking Jensen with them. Then just as suddenly, Cougar climbed back on to the bed, pulling the blankets back up and around himself. As Jensen re-situated himself on the bed, Cougar tossed part of a blanket across Jensen, and was back to sleep almost immediately. Jensen wasn't entirely sure he was awake until he put his glasses on long enough to see Clay laughing at him. With a small unhappy noise, Jensen tossed his glasses back on the nightstand and went back to sleep.

The second time he woke up was a bit better. Clay and Cougar's voices were low, and Cougar sounded non-trippy. Cougar was sitting up, leaning against the headboard, arms wrapped around himself. He smiled down at Jensen, which seemed out of place on his tired face. Clay sounded like he was still on the other bed.

"What time is it?" Jensen asked at a break in the conversation.

"11 am. I called Pooch to let him know you guys survived." Clay answered, tossing a bottle of aspirin to Cougar. "I already called downstairs and got another night for you guys."

"Thanks." Jensen rolled onto his back, and let his body angrily announce a hangover. "You alright, Cougs?"

"I've been better," Cougar answered honestly. "I'll be fine."

"Awesome." Jensen gave a thumbs up and then patted Cougar on the knee before pulling the blanket up around himself again.

"Well. I'm heading out. Try not to get into any trouble the rest of the week, please." Clay tugged his coat on and gave a small salute as he pulled the door shut. Silence descended on the room for a few moments and Jensen debated going back to sleep or not.

"I'm not sure how much of what I remember actually happened." Cougar said in a low voice, making Jensen look up.

"Well you really did break into a music store and steal a guitar. And you called Pooch's momma a ninja. And then you played guitar for me for like, two hours. Which, I didn't even know you could play. And you promised to teach me when we got a guitar with the right amount of strings. Then you fell asleep watching me hack into the local precinct to see if your music store robbery was reported. Then you woke me up stripping the bed, and then promptly re-covering it." Jensen watched Cougar's face redden and nudged his leg until the sniper made eye contact. "Dude, you were on acid. You're supposed to do weird shit. I'm just really happy you decided to have a good, boring trip instead of a really, really bad one."

"Anything else?" Cougar ran a hand across his face and shook his head as if trying to clear it.

"You licked me." Jensen laughed at the horror on Cougar's face. "It was a small lick. And you sniffed me first. You were sneakier than normal doing it, too."

Cougar sank back down to the bed and pulled the blanket up around himself, muttering in Spanish. Jensen caught a few phrases and laughed a bit more. Finally Cougar joined in the laughter a bit and Jensen felt himself relax.

"So what do I taste like?"

"Go back to sleep."


End file.
